The Wedding Speech Menu

Welcome to our Wedding Speech Menu – three pre-written speeches written by TV comedian Rob Madin.

Which means if you’ve been asked to say a few words at a wedding, you needn’t panic as we’ve (or rather Rob!) has done the hard work for you.

Travelodge Wedding Speeches

Whether you’ve simply run out of time, lacking creative inspo or forgot your speech in a rush, we’ve got something to help! With our speech menu, you can take the whole thing, add in the happy couples’ names and pretend it’s your own, use as a guide for a personalised speech, or just take the best jokes from each and put them all together for the big day.

We’ve got The Joker, to help bring the house down, The Tearjerker which will ensure there isn’t a dry eye in the house or The Creative Curveball for all those who have been waiting to get their hands on the mic and have the spotlight (we all know one of those don’t we?). Our one top tip – don’t forget to read the footnotes, it’s where you’ll find some comedy gold 😊

We just hope you and the wedding guests enjoy them as much as we do – happy wedding season!

The Joker


It’s compulsory at every wedding to have at least one speech delivered by a self-described banter-champ – typically a close friend or sibling.

For The Joker, it’s the equivalent of a Work-In-Progress night at The Comedy Store – a chance to test out some of their best material in front of a captive audience.


This is your moment champ you have got this – just don’t forget to add the names of the happy couple, no one is going to laugh at gags about Person A and Person B.

The Tear Jerker


Weddings are a bit like cruises – you might have to sit next to someone you don’t know at dinner, and at some point a few faces are probably going to get wet.

All speeches have the potential to deliver an emotional uppercut, but the biggest hitters are usually the ones from a family member or lifelong friend. In other words, someone with lots of baby anecdotes.


Might be worth having a box of tissues to hand round when you get to the really soppy bits, and perhaps some to hand out to the guests?

The Creative Curve Ball


Tradition dictates that at least one of the happy couple make a short speech towards the end of their wedding day. But how do you avoid your audience slipping into post-dinner snooze?

Two words… Power. Point. Presentation and then some.


Go big or go home, because you’ve got the mic now and no one can take it off you (well they can if you mess it up but with our help that shouldn’t be the case). Our top tip – make sure you do a mic check before you step out – no one is going to laugh at a joke they can’t hear.